Life's chapters are shaped by a mix of choice and circumstance. What is imposed on us, and what we exert onto the world.

My past few years have been more about circumstance than choice. Not many of us could've been happy with the wild cards we were dealt. But despite that, I am certain that we did the best we could.

I must admit, these words came to be through a lot of struggle and hesitance. Partly it was due to this now being a personal ritual. A strict marker of time, a full stop. These are the words that turn the page. Partly, I've procrastinated because this year has been a confusing clusterfuck, a mindboggling medley, a frenzied fiasco - of both good and bad, of both unexpected circumstances and conscious choices. But always, I am grateful for these words, which never fail to appear following my fingers' dance - space, delete, enter.

For me, 2021 went by fairly quickly. Circumstances are often unsolicited, and can therefore be challenging. Most of my year was spent working at home, gazing out the window, watching my mind wander. That was the circumstance I was dealt with. But I was lucky. I was also dealt with the chance to make certain choices. To say yes, and sometimes to say no. To keep learning and growing. To treat friends and family with compassion, kindness, and love. Sometimes, we may not be so lucky, and circumstances can rob us of the chance to make a choice. I am humbled and filled with gratitude.

Over the past few years, there has been a piece of cliched advice that I've held on to dearly:

You cannot control what happens to you, the only thing you can control is how you react to it.

I practice letting go of the need to control that which happens beyond the confines of my own mind, body, self. I practice gratitude, grace, and patience. And I would like to practice more assertiveness, claiming my space, and being unapologetically myself.

Through choice and circumstance, I have also been practicing the dark art of commitment. To those untrained in discipline, and who have been marred by the rapid rewards of social media, drugged up on algorithmic endorphins - to commit and delay gratification can be difficult. But if you tend to your garden, what you reap will often be abundant, surprising, and incredibly satisfying.

This year, I left a job, by choice rather than circumstance, after staying on for 3 years. Perhaps more than half of those years were spent on one project, seeing it from concept to constructed core. It wasn't a fancy project - I would struggle to convince you why, but I grew rather attached to it. Being able to commit to the mundane that makes them significant. This year, I think I'm perhaps most proud of turning the mundane into memories.

I made a choice to leave, to start something new. But something that has felt like a long time coming. And I carry that into 2022 with absolutely no idea what to expect - equal parts excitement and trepidation.

For the past 3 years, I have been living away from family. This whole living and working abroad thing has perhaps become a bit of a norm, that we don't often talk about how tough it is. I often don't give myself enough credit for making this choice - and for dealing with the circumstances it creates. I had not seen my parents for 2 years, before finally being able to visit them just last month. I'd like to blame that on circumstance rather than by choice - but it doesn't make it any easier either way. When you achieve independence, there grows a sense of obligation and also a desire, to then care for those you depended on to get to where you are. This is a hard feat to do from afar.

There's a certain kind of melancholy that only comes with family. An almost immediate transfer, proliferation, spread of shared emotions. Sometimes this can be shared by Whatsapp, but nothing can replace sharing the same space. Even in silence, so much is said. I hope for more moments of shared space.

Whatever the past few years have brought you, I hope you are able to take it in stride. Whether difficult, delirious, or delicious, I hope you can find a reason to smile.

Stepping forward, may 2022 be abundant and gracious with its canvas of choice and circumstance. May you find your space in this world, and if not, may you have the courage to carve it out for yourself. May you be heard, listened to, valued, and cared for. May you heal from fatigue, anxiety, and trauma. May you strive, thrive, and jive. Manifest only the best.

You've been great, 2021.

Thank you and farewell.